Lambs and Bulls

I recently posted an entry in my Friendster blog about the Virginia Tech massacre. In connection with that event, I'd like to share this article I found about school bullies. This is of particular interest to those of you who got kids or know people whose kids are being subjected to harassment in school or on the playground. I hope this will help guide you to deal with this issue so we don't have to hear anymore of another school shooting or killing sprees.
These are excerpts from:

The Book on Bullies
How to steer your child through the often cruel waters of adolescence. By Michele Santos

The profiles of school shooters Seung-Hui Cho at Virginia Tech, and Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold at Columbine High School, show a disturbing commonality: They were bullied by their classmates, sometimes for years. Virginia Tech gunman Cho was bullied in high school, former classmates say, because of his race and accent. Cho's family emigrated to the United States from South Korea. In class, other students laughed and said "Go back to China" when he spoke.

Although many children who are bullied don't act out against others, they are at higher risk for depression and suicidal thoughts than other children. If your own child has been victimized by a bully, know that you and your family are not alone. One in seven children gets bullied. We need to learn a lesson from this. All I hear is how are we going to stop it at the college level. But we need to rewind it and put our priorities in the mental health of children, and teach them to stop the cruelty before it escalates. The key to helping your child cope with a school bully is to believe him or her when they tell you about the bully. Take it seriously, and don't ignore your child; listen to the whole story.
After that:

Don't blame her. Explain that she's not alone—lots of kids get bullied for different reasons. Don't assume he did something to provoke the bully; don't say, "What did you do to aggravate the other child?"
Never tell your child to ignore the bullying; it's a serious problem and needs to be confronted. Often, ignoring the bullying can make it worse.
Find out when and where the incidents took place, how often they occur and how your child reacted.
Show empathy. Tell your child you're glad he was brave enough to tell you about it. Tell her you will think about the situation and take action.
Teach "bully-proofing" skills. Coach your child on assertive strategies. She can stand tall and, with a strong voice, say "Stop making fun of me" or "I want you to leave me alone."
Teach your child Borba's CALM approach—Cool down, Assert yourself, Look your bully in the eye, and Mean it.
Urge your child to stay with others. It's safer to be in a group, with the support of friends.
Tell your child to, if possible, avoid locations where the bully may be.
Don't promise to keep it a secret. You may need to report the bully.
Don't give your child all the responsibility for stopping the bully. You may need to take action by talking with a teacher or principal at your child's school. When you meet with school authorities, give plenty of facts about your child's experiences.
Talk regularly with your child and the school staff to see if the bullying has stopped. If it persists, contact school authorities again.
Help your child meet new friends outside of school.

For other tips, go to www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov .

Idology 101

For those who don't know, my husband and I are big American Idol fans although we didn't get to follow the show from the very beginning. It wasn't until Carrie Underwood's season when we finally jumped into the bandwagon since we got our DVR to record it whenever we can't watch it live. The big draw for us were the early audition shows where they mostly featured the really bad singers or the "attention whores". They whet your appetite enough that by the time they finally chose the top 24, you're ready to see and listen to better performances. I have my favorite picks (Blake Lewis, Melinda Doolittle) but as much as I plan on voting, I never once did. Maybe I will finally get to that phone for this season. Goodluck on that ever happening ;-)

Anyway, Kenny and I watched the last 2 nights of the AI show which featured their charity benefit / telethon called Idol Gives Back. Most of the remaining contestants' performance were okay but Kenny and I agreed that Blake Lewis' version of "Imagine", aJohn Lennon classic, was pretty good and heartfelt. Eh, I don't know what Randy was talking about when he gave Blake a not so glowing feedback. What planet was he from? Or better yet, what was he smoking?

As to their hyped shocking result (no one got eliminated), it wasn't really much of a surprise at all, at least to me. Although the show can be cheesy at times, I didn't think the AI powers-that-be would be too tacky to send someone home after they've asked viewers to be generous. I might say that other viewers were probably upset. They watched the show expecting to see someone sent packing and they didn't. Their thirst for blood wasn't quenched, I suppose. Duh!

My favorite among the performances of the celebrities was the duet between Celine Dion and Elvis Presley. Kinda eerie. How did they do that? I also liked Josh Groban's singing of You Raise Me Up. Kenny might not be a fan of his type of music but he liked the performance enough to be curious what his other popular songs were. That voice sure could pierce a hardened soul. I think it was him who got me off the couch to get online and donate. A voice like that is a beautiful instrument indeed, especially if used in the fight against poverty.

So how about you guys. Any AI fans (open or closet) out there? Who's your pick/favorite and who do you think is going to win? Here are the top 6 so far.

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Sexy Sunglasses

I just came across this cool video from youtube.com and I think it's really well done. It's a mash-up video of Corey Hart's Sunglasses at Night and Justin Timberlake's Sexyback. Oddly enough, it works. I wish I know more about video editing so I can do something like it. Check it out! It sure got me to dance ;-)

Pass or Fail

A few days ago, I was pleasantly greeted by the news via text message from my mother that my younger sister Emily passed the CGFNS exam. You bet I breathed a deep sigh of relief. As much as I have faith in my sister, the past few attempts had not been as successful as we had hoped. I know she was feeling the pressure to make it this time since this particular test had been costing us a lot of time and of course, money. It's the one obstacle that she had to overcome to take a step further towards a better future for her and her family. Now that she finally overcame it, a few more will be easier, I hope.

I really do look forward on having her here in Chicago. I long for those days when I can call her up on our days off and we can hang out together as friends and sisters. We were getting to have a better relationship just before I left the Philippines for the US back in 1994. She has since got married and now have 3 kids to be proud of. On those few visits I made over the years, we try to rekindle that essence of sisterhood but our time is always short. Our time on the phone is even shorter. Anyway, I sure hope things are going to run more smoothly from here on.

Survey Me

Hello, my fellow blogger friends!!! I found this fun survey at somebody's blog site. Feel free to take it and copy and post. It'll be an interesting way of learning more about each other. I'm looking forward to reading about your responses.

[Marital Status]	Married for more than 4 years now and going strong
[Shoe size]	6 - 6.5
[Parents still together]	My Papa passed away in 2002 but Mama is thriving
[Siblings]	Two other sisters and 1 brother
[Pets]	We have 2 Bichon Frises, Sidney and Lara
FAVORITES
[Color]	Black, but also favors pink and chocolate
[Number]	2
[Animal]	Dogs, definitely
[Drinks]	Stone sour amaretto, long island tea and the smoothies at Jamba Juice
	Good old-fashioned H2O, green tea
DO YOU
[Color your hair?]	Yes but have gone back to black
[Have tattoos?]	I wish... too scared of needles and getting AIDS
[Have Piercings?]	Ears pierced since childhood
[Cheat on tests/homework?]	I plead the 5th
[Drink/Smoke?]	Social drinker... does second-hand smoking count?
[Like roller coasters?]	Heck no! Unless you want to see a pukefest!
[Wish you could live somewhere else?]	Would like to live in a European countryside or somewhere in the Caribbean
[Want more piercings?]	I don't think so
[Like cleaning?]	Not if I can help it but I go on cleaning binges sometimes. Those are my Zen moments
[Write in cursive or print?]	Print mostly otherwise it's not as legible
[Own a web cam?]	Yes but seldom use it
[Know how to drive?]	Yes... like a maniac
[Own a cell phone?]	Gotta have one
[Ever get off the damn computer?]	I'm glued to it
HAVE U EVER
[Been in a fist fight?]	Nope... but I kicked someone's back when I was in Grade 6
[Considered a life of crime?]	Nope... unless my cellmate is Angelina Jolie
[Lied to someone?]	I'd like to think of them as "white lies"... ahemmm
[Been in love?]	Still am
[Made out with JUST a friend?]	Can't really say I did. Gotta be more than friends to do something intimate like that.
[Been in lust?]	Of course... I am a warm-blooded mammal
[Used someone]	I might have but for a good reason or with good intentions
[Been used?]	I don't mind being useful
[Been cheated on?]	Sadly, yes... what an old, sad fart
[Kicked someone in the nuts?]	I wish... got no balls in the first place
[Stolen anything?]	I plead the 5th again... it's one of those gray areas
[Held a gun]	Yep... fired it too... no innocent humans and animals were harmed.
CURRENTS
[Current clothing]	Casual; jeans and tees, jackets, Uggs
[Current mood] &..39;>
[Current taste]	For seafood and sushi
[What you currently smell like]	Like my dogs' coconut shampoo
[Current hair]	Straight and streaked.
[Current thing I ought to be doing]	Sleeping
[Current cd in stereo]	My own chill-out mix of songs featured in my radioblog
[Last book you read]	That was so long time ago
[Last movie you saw]	Borat
[Last thing you ate]	Matcha Green Tea Blast from Jamba Juice
[Last person you talked to on the phone]	Kenny
[Do drugs?]	Never... except OTC ones like Aleve and Motrin
[Believe there is life on other planets?]	I've wondered about it
Remember your first love?]	Vaguely... I was 11 years old, I think
[Still love him/her?]	As if! I can't even remember why... he's probably a priest now.
[Read the newspaper?]	I sometimes read the news online. I prefer reading about Hollywood gossip (my guilty pleasure... sue me)
[Have any gay or lesbian friends?]	nope
[Believe in miracles?]	I think... gotta believe in something we can't see
[Do well in school?]	I did okay esp in English but was a total failure at Math.
[Wear hats]	I wear skullcaps sometimes... I don't like a helmet head though.
[Hate yourself?]	Sometimes in my moments of weakness and bitchiness and when gaining more pounds... grrrr
[Have an obsession?]	It comes in waves and in short periods.
[Collect anything?]	I used to collect thimbles from places I've visited
[Have a best friend?]	Kenny tolerates my nonsense so I guess he's my BFF.
[Close friends?]	Got a few select close friends, old and new
[Like your handwriting?]	I could do better
[Care about looks]	When it comes to weight issues, I sure do...
LOVE LIFE
[First crush]	A boy from my second grade class
[First kiss]	Ahemmm
[Do you believe in love at first sight?]	I guess so...
[Do you believe in "the one?"]	Totally
[Are you a tease?]	When the mood strikes me
[Too shy to make the first move?]	I had my moments
ARE U A
[Daydreamer]	Sure am... that's my main pre-occupation
[Bitch/Asshole]	Can be when PMS strikes
	Can be bitingly so
	When PMS-free
	In disguise
	When in unfamiliar territory
[Talkative]	Such a chatterbox I am

Life's 10 Simple Pleasures

I didn't have to rack my brains to come up with simple pleasures I indulge in. They are mostly things or experiences that easily seem to make me smile and purr with gratification. Obviously, being in good terms with my husband and having fun times together bring me the most pleasure but since I'm being challenged to be creative and original, here's my list. In no particular order:
1. Getting in bed with freshly laundered and still-warm-from-the-dryer sheets (preferably with higher than 450 thread count sateen sheets). It just makes me look forward to snuggling even more.
2. Breaking a sweat after a good workout or yoga session. Same result from a power walk down a trail at some forest preserve. Even better if Kenny joins me.
3. Bustin' some moves at my favorite dance club, Neo. It gives me such an endorphin rush once the beat gets to me. It don't matter whether I'm a good dancer or not. Wish I can go clubbing soon.
4. Discovering some really great tunes or coming across some obscure and interesting songs on the net. I am such a download fiend when inspired by music.
5. Reading juicy Hollywood gossips from tabloids or watching celebrity gossip shows on TV. Forget CNN or whatever, I gotta have my fix about Angelina Jolie's life or I'd feel left out.
6. Nothing original with this but I have to include partying with or hanging out with my friends. We seldom see each other nowadays that it's always a treat to get together with them whether there's a special occasion or not.
7. Finding clothes that fit me well and hide the figure flaws. Most specially, finding pants that don't need to get hemmed (can cost a fortune!).
8. Getting to work and home without being caught in the traffic or rush hour. Enough said.
9. Catching up on my favorite shows on DVR on my nights off, sipping green tea or chai tea.
10. Cuddling with Sidney and Lara when they are at their best behavior. They truly made a pet or dog owner out of me with those adoring puppy eyes of theirs. I still can't take the licking though.

I guess that's it. Your turn ;-)

The Simple Life

Ah, the simple life! Who doesn't long for it, especially these days when life seems to get busier and more complex by the hour? In a culture that is summed up and symbolized by the superhighway - both asphalt and information! - who doesn't yearn to find an exit to a simpler way of life? I share those yearnings too but very few of us live lives that can be described as simple. In fact, we mostly make one or two basic choices that keep our lives out of control and leave us chronically rushed and dissatisfied. Simplicity doesn't come automatically. Not anymore. If we want a simpler life, we have to learn to make simplifying choices - choices that involve words like no and not now. We have to learn the simple art of enough is enough.
Unfortunately, the actual practice of simplifying our life can feel threatening. Saying no goes against our basic human territorial urge to acquire, get more, conquer, stock up. It goes against the dominant voices of our highly materialistic society. One cultural message that works against simplicity is the myth of More is Better. It involves the basic assumption that, in order to be happy and satisfied, we constantly need to acquire more, take on more, become involved with more and more. We buy into the assumption that we must constantly build our material base, acquiring ever more valuable or up-to-date possessions. It is built on the drive to "trade up" everything from vehicles to houses to computers to jobs in order to lead a more worthwhile life.
The most obvious expression of "more is better" is the shopping culture. There is so much energy taken up with hunting for new stuff, purchasing new stuff, bringing new stuff home, finding a place for it, then storing or getting rid of the old stuff to make room for the new stuff. Shopping has become a primary form of entertainment. We shop as something to do, to ease our anxieties, to replace the stuff we've thrown away or just grown tired of, and we shop for bargains in order to feel virtuous.
The myth of "more is better" applies to our activities as well. We complain how busy we are but our complaints are colored with a tint of pride in that very busyness. We tend to assume that the people with the most activities in their lives are the most important, the most valuable, the ones who deserve to be rewarded. No wonder we complicate our lives with so many competing activities. We also think that the existence of something new mean we must have it in our lives. We "gotta have it" in order to be happy, successful, and fulfilled. Unfortunately, much of the time, we feel we "gotta have it" now, even if having it means going deeply into debt.
Like most people, I lament that my schedule is just too full for me to do things I want to do in life. I realize that it is a lie. My time is mine to spend and invest as I choose. My life is a precious gift presented to me at birth. I am solely responsible to myself and to my Creator for what I do with this marvelous gift. Regardless of our circumstances, the simplicity or complication of our lives comes from our own choices, not from what the outside world imposes upon us. We can choose simplicity - by choosing what we include or exclude from our lives.