Lambs and Bulls

I recently posted an entry in my Friendster blog about the Virginia Tech massacre. In connection with that event, I'd like to share this article I found about school bullies. This is of particular interest to those of you who got kids or know people whose kids are being subjected to harassment in school or on the playground. I hope this will help guide you to deal with this issue so we don't have to hear anymore of another school shooting or killing sprees.
These are excerpts from:

The Book on Bullies
How to steer your child through the often cruel waters of adolescence. By Michele Santos

The profiles of school shooters Seung-Hui Cho at Virginia Tech, and Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold at Columbine High School, show a disturbing commonality: They were bullied by their classmates, sometimes for years. Virginia Tech gunman Cho was bullied in high school, former classmates say, because of his race and accent. Cho's family emigrated to the United States from South Korea. In class, other students laughed and said "Go back to China" when he spoke.

Although many children who are bullied don't act out against others, they are at higher risk for depression and suicidal thoughts than other children. If your own child has been victimized by a bully, know that you and your family are not alone. One in seven children gets bullied. We need to learn a lesson from this. All I hear is how are we going to stop it at the college level. But we need to rewind it and put our priorities in the mental health of children, and teach them to stop the cruelty before it escalates. The key to helping your child cope with a school bully is to believe him or her when they tell you about the bully. Take it seriously, and don't ignore your child; listen to the whole story.
After that:

Don't blame her. Explain that she's not alone—lots of kids get bullied for different reasons. Don't assume he did something to provoke the bully; don't say, "What did you do to aggravate the other child?"
Never tell your child to ignore the bullying; it's a serious problem and needs to be confronted. Often, ignoring the bullying can make it worse.
Find out when and where the incidents took place, how often they occur and how your child reacted.
Show empathy. Tell your child you're glad he was brave enough to tell you about it. Tell her you will think about the situation and take action.
Teach "bully-proofing" skills. Coach your child on assertive strategies. She can stand tall and, with a strong voice, say "Stop making fun of me" or "I want you to leave me alone."
Teach your child Borba's CALM approach—Cool down, Assert yourself, Look your bully in the eye, and Mean it.
Urge your child to stay with others. It's safer to be in a group, with the support of friends.
Tell your child to, if possible, avoid locations where the bully may be.
Don't promise to keep it a secret. You may need to report the bully.
Don't give your child all the responsibility for stopping the bully. You may need to take action by talking with a teacher or principal at your child's school. When you meet with school authorities, give plenty of facts about your child's experiences.
Talk regularly with your child and the school staff to see if the bullying has stopped. If it persists, contact school authorities again.
Help your child meet new friends outside of school.

For other tips, go to www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov .